Wallpapering: My first wallpaper design.

Mind you. This is my first attempt at making wall paper design.  Now who wants to BUY IT!

Minnesota TV Vacation Highlights!

(Twice a year I head up into the Minnesota wilderness to get drunk, eat pig, and most importantly absorb all the basic cable I’ve been missing over the last 6 months. And then tell you what I think. Lucky.)

6/30
AMC Murrayfest. Just watched Stripes, Caddyshack, Ghostbusters I and II and started watching Stripes again. (Everyone knows the first hour is where the genius lies.)

Harold Ramis, comedy God, terrible actor.  TERRIBLE.

I forget how many lines I still use from Ghostbusters II despite it’s inferiority.  They must be paying Murray like a Shah to do 3.

Bill Murray would be the only person that I would be nervous to meet in person. (Well Tiny Fey was no picnic, but I pulled it off. Maybe Gervais.)

It really is amazing how Bill was the Will Ferrel of his day. Just showing up to every movie playing Bill Murray and not getting unfunny. Completely different humor.

7/1

ESPN notes. Steve Levy is gettin’ heavy.

How does Ricky Rubio get a Gillette commercial before he can shave?

Oh how the death of Billy Mays will haunt me now.

Taking in the “Pitchmen” marathon on Discovery has just made me lament the loss of the bearded one all that much more knowing that such a great show is now deceased.  How great was the chemistry between An(tin)y Sullivan and Big Bill.  Pitchmen may soon be my show of the trip. (It’s definitely made Parking Wars heights.) I was glued to the behind the scenes making of the direct marketing product world.  Discovery has redeemed itself for what has been a lack luster performance from the infotainment triad (Disc, Hist, NatGeo).

Oooooh Billy.

I’m now growing a memorial beard for the big fella.

7/2

Daisy is the new Love of Money/Everything I hate about television is suddenly on VH1

Back in my pilot writing days, I came up with an idea that I was going to pitch as “Grosse Pointe Blanke” the TV series.  Something with assassins being quirky and funny and shooting people for good reasons now. Well the only thing worse then finding out that someone has beat me to it, is to find out that its fucking good.  I’ve just watched 5 maybe 6 (time disappears up here) of Burn Notice. And it’s fucking good.

None of these burn notice pics have the Bruce in them. Which is a mistake.

It sort of like the A-Team without the mohawks and welding. (I know, what’s left?) With Michael Weston, dashing and smart, as Hannibal, the hot chick not wearing much (I keep refering to her as Princess Margaret from Tudors)  doing the Face parts and Bruce Campbell, sweet, sweet Bruce Campbell being both Murdock and Mr. T at the same time.   I literally could have watched about 12 more episodes but I had “Go out to eeeeeeat.” and “Get drunnnnnnnk.”  So at least I have some left to watch on Hulu when I get home.

So he gets his own.

7/3

Whale Wars makes me root for the whalers.  Whiny fucking crustached hippies in boats.  Seriously is that kid out of high school?

Best thing on TV today: Sarah Palin’s speech.

There are alot of people up here who look like the owner of the Double Deuce from Roadhouse. Fat, white hair, a lil alcholicy, bad teeth. (His name is Kevin Tighe. (His best friend’s name is Randolph Mantooth. How did that guy not get famous!)  Love ya guy, but you do look a lil alcholicy.)

You can just see him standing behind Dalton handing out the pink slips.

The Stevie Zahn/ Marty Lawrence opus National Security is on TBS ALOT.  So it amazes me that everytime I zoom past it, that its always on a part that I’ve never seen.  I’ve done the math and it appears that I average 2.3 seconds per viewing of National Security.  Slowly encroaching the record currently held by City Of Angels.

I just said, “I’m not going anywhere until I see Mayim Bialik’s haircut!” (Which was kinda dissapointing. C’mon Nick Arroyo)

It’s nice of What Not To Wear to bring back whats good about the Celebreality that VH1 has so ceremoniously destroyed.  We want to see Hulk Hogan’s life, not his brat man-daughter.  It doesn’t count when you make the celebrity. (New York, Daisy, half of the people on the Surreal Life now.)

Was there any more perfect person to put in the hands of Stacey and Clinton then our own beloved Blossom.  Who has since become a Jewish Hippie Mom Doctor that looks like she should be teaching philosophy out on a knoll at UMass Amhearst. (It was also nice to see Six all grown up and put together.)  You should take people who fit the show (Ted Nugent people hunting) not just anyone who will except food stamps for work. (Scott Baio)

7/4

Thank you Style Network for bringing back My Super Sweet 16. Muah.

7/5

I understand you can’t play the best of David Lean all the time, but Jumanji followed by Wolf.  AMC shame.

Watched Dave Atell followed by Jim Norton as the apex of Comedy Centrals stand up weekend and lets just say those guys can craft a dick joke.

7/6

MonsterQuest – Giant Squid = garbage

7/7

Important Things with Demitri Martin is exactly like Mind of Mencia without the condescending stereotypes.  Everytime I try not to like ol Demitri he just reels me back in. They canceled Mind of Mencia right?

I should have mentioned earlier, of all the “The Soup” rip off shows, Tosh.0 is defintely the best.  It amazingly has it’s own feel despite being the exact same show but with internet clips.

Finally, i can’t believe i didn’t watch more of Operacion Repo.  It’s Parking Wars but with fist fights.  And how is it that the biggest baddest looking Mo Fo, Matt is always the one getting his ass kicked.  I saw him kicked in the nuts, stomped, hit with beer bottles, and just straight punched and for all his talk never saw him land a punch.  You realize you look like a giant vagina right? Just wondering.

Epilogue

what did we learn: Burn Notice is my new favorite show, Pitchmen makes me miss Billy Mays and Matt from Operation Repo is a pussy.

Thank you cable and thank you Minnesota.

Lexiconography: Reubensesque

To look or resemble or be mistaken for Paul Reubens.  And I don’t mean Pee-Wee.  I mean get your apartment raidedto find you and Jeffrey Jones salivating over vintage pictures of young boys in tight shorts Paul Reubens.

Yes I'm talking to you Mr. M.C. shudder.

Late Night makes it 1993 all over again.

I was thinking of writing a review about Conan’s first show, which was pretty good. (His taking the Universal Tour out on the road and getting the crowd to chant “circle, circle, circle.” Genius.) But what really got me tonight was that musical guests tonight were straight out of high school for me.  1993 was the last time the Tonight Show changed hands and it was also probably the last time Pearl Jam appeared in public.  Well Conan welcomed them back with open arms.  Jeff and Stone looked fantastic and Eddie was wearing a nice, baggy, hidin’ my ponch t-shirt.  No Doubt with a “I’m still 23″ Gwen Stefani was on Jimmy.  But my favorite was Tori Amos on Craig Ferguson.  Remember when Tori Amos cock-eyed, piano stradlin’, stringy red haired look had that really cute crazy little sister thing going for it.  Well now it screams crazy hippy cat lady aunt.  You know the kind who might smoke you up in high school but the next morning she performing a wiccan ritual over the body of your naked best friend and while you were appauled she would say your disgust is so bourgeouis and tell you she didn’t march all those years ago just so her sister could raise such closed minded children. And I couldn’t be any happier.

Playing to 37 cats nightly.

Btw Tony Toni Tone was on Comics Unleashed: Hot Chocolate.

Wallpapering: Heat Sensitive Wallpaper

I have to admit the design is a little too flowery for me, but the technology is fucking cool.

Here’s to great ideas in wallpaper from Shi Yuan.

Radiator on.

radiator off

Next I’d like marker that don’t show up on skin until 2 hours after the passed out drunk guy wakes up.  That’s a money maker people.

Lexiconography: Self-defecating.

The other day after a long leisurely stroll through the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens for my wife’s birthday, she went on to describe a colleague’s manner as “self-defecating.”

Sure, I had a guffaw at my poor lady’s expense, but since I have started to think that it is almost a superior description of the ability to make fun of one’s self with a slightly more sadist slant. Because what’s funnier then shitting on yourself? Hmm, hmm, hmm. Well old ladies falling down stairs are funny as well, but that’s not nearly as word savvy.

So enjoy world: I give you “self defecating” humor.

Wallpapering: Jenny Wilkinson

As my first official wallpaper blog, I have to bring up my current wallpaper hero: Jenny Wilkinson.  Her paint by number hammerhead shark and pineapple design were featured all over ReadyMade and I covet them like a 10 year old me coveted Johnny Wojiechowski’s G.I.Joe aircraft carrier.  I want I want I need!

check her out at jennywilkinson.com

This has got to stop…

This reminds of a Far Side comic that was titled, “It was late and I was tired.”

Copywriters should be allows a few hours off.

Wallpaper blogging.

Ever since I saw the movie Coraline several months ago, I the design sense in me has turned it eyes on wallpaper. So every so often I will be blogging about, yes, really great wallpaper, where I see it, where to buy it, who’s making it, my ideas for great wallpaper, what bars I go to just for it. You’ll see. But first just to show you how it all began I suggest peering in the background of any of these Coraline posters.

and there are more!

Is JJ turning into Julia Sweeney.

I’m watching Tavis Smiley and the song just came into my head. Alot of people say “What’s that? It’s JJ Abrams.”

A mam or a sir, except him or her, for what ever it may be……………