Couples that could stand up to A-Donna as the Most Obnoxious Couples Ever…

The criteria: we’re not looking for funny or creepy couples like Andy Rooney and Anna Kournakouva (which is both). It’s more like those couples that when you first hear about them, they bring to the lips phrases like…. Really….. I mean seriously…..Are you fucking kidding me.

I just imagined being on a double date with them and if found myself the least bit interested in being there , they were off the list. Current couples would include Kutcher/ Moore, Holmes/ Cruise, Lindsay/ Paris and Manchester United/ New York Yankees. But like A-Rod is owned in 100% of fantasy leagues (which I now for fact is bullshit ESPN because my league is anti Yanks) I decided to focus on fantasy couples. I would like to give a shout out to Jen Sess for spending an entire shift at work with me putting this list together.

10. Oprah and Gayle: This may be reality but the fact of the matter is with Big O losing viewers to Ellen everyday, it would be heartwrenchingly “other” of her to just come out in plaid and make out with Gayle while Steadman cried for his lost years. I mean would anyone on Earth be suddenly more gay then O.

9. Elian Gonzalez and Baby Jessica: A) Baby Jessica is probably twice his age, but I’m sure she would quickly revert if she ever hooked up with Cuba’s Commie Cub. Every People mag wanna be would show cuddly pictures of them walking in parks next to Elian and a rifle and Baby Jessica’s mangled well head.

8. Pedro Martinez and Jennifer Lopez. It would be like the Spanish version of A-Donna. (Cause A-Rod is as hispanic as I am Irish) And they come with the convienient nickname PedLo.

7. Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz. What happens when calling someone overrated is overrating them?

6. Nelson Mandela and Coretta Scott King. You know you can’t bring up the latest season of Real World Hollywood without getting scowls across the table for your frivolity.

5. Jimmy Fallon and Horatio Sanz. Just imagine them trying to tell you a joke. Now imagine it if they were both gay. Who wouldn’t bring a gun to the table?

4. Gilbert Godfrey and Fran Dresher. IJTUIMM. (That’s my new internet acronym for I just threw up in my mouth.)

3. Mitt Romney and Sarah MacLaughlin. He’s the Mormon Republican whose too squeeky for his own good. She’s the Canadian Lillith Fair Founder who makes my wife cries during Athis is not even my illustration i just fucking found it on the net.SPCA commercials. This is the kind of couple that would have loads of late life babies and say they found each other in their differences.

2. Mel Gibson and Babs Streisand. Nothing to write here.

1. Rush and Roseanne. This has everything going for it. A) The sexual repulsion. B) Personality repulsion. C) And wins hands down on the dinner date test. You couldn’t even get in the room with those too sitting across from you. I’m getting the sweats just thinking about it.


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