WTF: Woody Boyd has the blood of an icey killer coursing through him.

Watch how much you tip at Cheers!

So I like checking the birthdays on the ol’ Wikipedia and I come across this little nugget.

1938 – Charles Harrelson, American convicted murderer; father of Woody Harrelson (d. 2007)

OK interesting. But then it goes straight to OMG territory in a hurry. The first line is: Charles Voyde Harrelson (July 23, 1928March 15, 2007[1][2]) was an American freelance hitman.

Freelance hitman. Suddenly I’m thinking of Woody getting the Natural Born Killers script, jumping on his bike and telling Dotty, “I don’t need to read it, I lived it.”

But it’s not over. Apparently Woody Harrelson’s Dad (who was convicted of killing a Federal Judge for the mob) MAY HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO KILL KENNEDY! Apparently he used to use this claim as a boast to future employers. There are conspiracy nuts who name him as one of the “Three Tramps.” He commented to a Dallas paper, “Do you believe that Lee Harvey Oswald killed President Kennedy, alone, without any aid from a rogue agency of the US government or at least a portion of that agency? I believe you are very naive if you do.” Can you imagine how much head Oliver Stone would give Woody to get even the tiniest bit of info out of him?

Charles Harrelson died last year in a SuperMax prison, so we may never know the truth, but Woody lives on in his stead to give hope to all the future children of American freelance hitmen. I feel like he should an Alanon for kids of killers. He can call it Hit Kidz! Then they can sell the rights and buy their Dads out of Jail like Big Ern from King Pin. (Sorry Woodman did you try that?)


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