An Open Letter to the Producers of Ghostbusters 3.

As you may have heard through the blogosphere and BBC, Ghostbusters 3 is greenlit.  It’s being written by a couple of guys from the Office and is probably involving the orginal cast some how.  So seeing as 90% of my life’s cultural references (including about this entire site) can be directly traced to my love of the original GB, I’ve decided to send a memo to the producers.

Dear Columbia Pictures,

C’mon.

Seriously.

Did you guys see Indy 4?  (Wait that made like a zillion dollars.)  Never mind that. Did you see Ghostbusters 2? It sucked balls.  I knew that when I was 12.  Sure, I like making a Viggo reference now and then and telling every baby I meet what a burden they are on their poor mother, but no one is possibly going to sit around for 3rd sequel.  No one wants to see fat Ghostbusters. If the Original cast still in their prime couldn’t do it, neither can you.

So besides not doing it, i would like to offer some other suggestions for going forward.

Overpay Bill Murray.  Really he’s the only one with his fastball.  Sure he’s more Razor’s Edge then Pete Venkman these days, but if you can only get Ackroyd, hit the self destruct button.

Let Jason Reitman direct.  It’s only fair.

Let Diablo Cody do rewrites.  Although I’m positive that shes one and done. I’m already paying to see a GB sequel written by a stripper.

No Ellen Page or Sigourney Weaver.  She already is starting to look more like Zuul in reallife then she ought to.

But bring back William Atherton.  They made that mistake once and look what happened.

Do not get the Apatow people involved.  Just don’t. A) It’s obvious. and B) Even I’m getting a little sick of Seth Rogan right now.  But if you have to may I suggest getting Bill and Neal from Freaks and Geeks instead of the rest of the stable.  I mean Bill would be a perfect Egon sub.  And Neal is so Ackroyd.

That leaves Murray.  I vote for Kristen Wiig.  Sure it’s completely wrong, but she’s the only person that makes me laugh on a consistent basis anymore.

So here it goes. Jason Reitman. Diablo Cody.  Kristen Wiig. Ooo, ooo, and if you wanna play the diversity card get John Cho.  (Harold of Harold and Kumar fame.)  He can be snarky.

That’s all I got.  But I only found out about this about an hour ago, so if I have anything else I’ll send it along.  And help you avoid dogs and cats living together… you know.

Love

Justin

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