Q&A: Foreigners

Q: Dear Justin,

What do you call someone from Dubai? Dubainese. Dubies. Dubes.

Love Justin

A:   Justin you’re a fucking idiot.  So fucking clever. Do you know what time it is? Seriously.  Fuck man.  Where do you come up with this shit?  You wanna know what they’re called? Do you? HUH?  Dubious.  That’s what I call them. Dubious oil rich Arab Underwater Hotel Building Mother Fuckers. How the fuck should I know? I have to work a double tomorrow.  Hold on. I’ll just stop everything and make a phone call.  I know. I’ll call George Saunders. He wrote a whole article about Dubai. He must know right?

(Holding outstretched thumb and pinky to my head)

Brrrrring  Brrrrrring  Brrrring.

Oh hello George?

Yes this is Justin Tierney….

Yes I know you have no idea who I am….

No I’m actually nobody….

I just wanted to….

yes I know what time it is…..

OK fine fuck you George Saunders!

There ya happy.  I just told off George fucking Saunders.  But to answer your question I would go with Dubes.

signed

Justin

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