Lexiconography: Playwright

Wednesday, as reported, I made a super big deal (with pictures) about the birthday of noted playwright and Cary Elwes death deuler  Wallace Shawn.  While I’m not here to belittle his birthday anyway (it was a festive occasion.  Pie was served with Cool Whip.) , but I do take umbridge with his profession. (Not Cary Elwes death dueling, that guy could use a good shootin’.)

While trying in my drunken stupor the word playwright, I started with “playright” and then the equally wrong “playwrite” which made realize that playwright is a silly word.

Those who write books are called writers.  Those who write screenplays are called screenwriters.  Those who write for TV for called Bobo the Demon Bonobo.

In this sense, playwrights not only get to be elite New York layabouts but they get to have a ironically grammatically incorrect professions.  It’s like a pretension double whammy.

I’d like to take this forum to call upon playmakers (as I will be calling them in the short term) to choose between the two correct grammatical representations of their craft: playwrite, (or playwriter) or playright (which I would discourage on the grounds that it would make playmakers even more pretensious by two fold).  So I give you a week you Wallace Shawns, you Tom Stoppards, you dead August Wilsons, to get your shit together and choose.  Lend some credibility towards your race so that the next time you do a Democractic campaign endorsement the whole of the Midwest won’t just ignore you as gay elitist sunuvabitches.  And oh yeah, kill Cary Elwes please.  He’ll thank you later.


2 Responses to “Lexiconography: Playwright”

  1. Get bent, buster. I’m a Playwright, just like the guy who used to make wheels for wagons was a wheelwright. I’m someone who crafts story for theatre, and it’s a license to be pretentious.

    • You Canadians kill me with your razor sharp witticisms. I’m sure the world of Manitoban Community theater will be a better place. My apologies. I’m still for the death of Cary Elwes.

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