Happy 56th Macho Man Randy Savage

I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge that Saturday is the birthday of one of the most influential figures in sports entertainment Randy “Macho Man” Savage.

A one time minor league catcher and teammate of fellow mustachio Keith Hernandez, Randy Poffo (before he came out as Macho) turned an elbow injury into World Wrestling Entertainment gold.  His acomplishments include becoming the first wrestler to publicly beat up a retard (George “the Animal” Steele).  Being the first wrestler to crush a body part ending in the letter x (Ricky Steamboat’s larynx).  And the first sportsman in history to win me any money whatsoever (Cause I picked him out of a hat to win my fourth grade Wrestlemania IV pool. Big upset.)

In preparing for his cameo in Spiderman (where he faced Heavyweight Champion Tobey Maguire), he overdid it on the roids and was left lacking the enzymes that produce muscle protein.  Crippled he now has to eat up to five boxes of the meat snack Slim Jims a day.

He will be sadly missed when he dies. And not survived by Miss Elizabeth who married Lex Lugar instead. Which is a whole other fucked up story.  Oooooooooooooo YEAH!

snap into it.

snap into it.

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