Pouring one out for my AFL homies.

Rose Bowl MVP. Super Bowl ring getter. Unemployed.

Joe Germaine: Rose Bowl MVP. Super Bowl ring getter. Unemployed.

Earlier today, the powers that be over at the Arena Football league made it official that they would be calling it quits for the 2009 season.  They say they’re gonna be retooling the financial structure to make them selves viable for the future, which we all know is  like your dead beat father telling you he’s going out for a pack of Camels.  Only he took 500 bucks, two suitcases and stripper named Rainbow.  He ain’t never coming back kids.  And like most deadbeats, you don’t even know you miss it til its gone.  And it wasn’t til just this second, but I have regrets.

I regret never getting that job designing helmets inspired by the Iowa Barnstormers.

I regret that I won’t have anything to fill the time between innings during the Saturday day games.

I regret never buying that used Arena Football Playstation game for $12 , I mean $8.  It just doesn’t seem worth it anymore.arena-football

I regret that I’ll never be able to regret not going to Massachusetts Marauders game when I had the chance.  Or New England Steamrollers, which would have been way more ghetto since it was in the Worchester Centrum.

I regret seeing running backs with purpose again.

I regret not buying more of their merchandise as joke gifts.

I regret that I’ll never see anyone throw for 100 touchdowns and be last in the league in QB rating.

I regret never again being able to tell a Canadian that his football league is less relevent.

I regret that no fan after lost teeth.  Most never had many to begin with.

I regret that no one will ever say 50 YARD INDOOR WAR with any feeling. Ever.

And most of all, I regret that I’ll never see Bon Jovi retire Kurt Warner’s number.


Cue Willie Nelson’s “To All the Girls I’ve Loved Before.”

Sinking into puffy chair.

There will be no Richie Sambora either.

There will be no Richie Sambora either.


2 Responses to “Pouring one out for my AFL homies.”

  1. Former Neighbor Says:

    Oh, AFL. Who knew you’d be just like Alf?

    • andjustin4all Says:

      Let me guess you reading it hoping for a lil Willy Tanner smoking crack bit and ended up getting sucked into my sadness over sports. It’s OK so did I.

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