Rap Names from HISTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In order to spur the minds of today’s inner city youths, I will be urging the thug gansta of our time to begin using nomenclature with historical context.  For my first name find, I’m going back to that historic day Evolution was challenged by substitute science teacher John Scopes.  Here are my top 5 Scopes Monkey Trial Rap Names.  Hip Hoppers and Autotone recording artists feel free to plunder my work.

5. Tennessee Evolution

A game of Horseshoes!

A game of Horseshoes!

This name has got everything: Social commentary, current cultural relevance, and you have an Arrested Development reference. (The band not the show.  But Seaward would also be a cool female rap name with an Arrested Development TV show reference.)

4. Willy J Bryant (which can also be 3 time Dem or The Great Commoner)Cross of gold

What better reference for a rap name then the turn of the century’s greatest orator.  This is the man who almost gave us the silver standard, brought down the house at three Democratic National conventions and had a deep hatred of blacks. Well nobody’s perfect.

3. Inherit T. Wind inherit-the-wind

This name gains points for Spencer Tracy allusions but loses points for being based on a play with Brian Dennehy.  Whose best part ever was the boxing promoter from Gladiators (Not Russell Crowe, think introducing Cuba Gooding Jr.).  “The top of the head is the hardest part of the body!”

2. MC Scopes Monkeycrazymonkey

Name one thing that had monkey in the title that didn’t get immediately cooler.  (Monkey Bone was Brendan Fraser’s fault.)

1. DJ Clarence Darrow darrow

Clarence Darrow was gansta.  He was like Johnny Cochrane with Hitler’s hair cut and the face of a rabid bulldog (and without the ambulance chasing midnight ad law firm).  Hell he was so vicious after cross examination William Jennings Bryant died.  That is like Biggie and Tupac but over people coming from apes instead of…. of…. getting called a punk in a song or something.  Yeah like that’s worth dying about.

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